Even littering is done in an orderly fashion

I’m going crazy.

I just illegally disposed of some ‘rubbish’ in a proper Belgian manner – very low key, somewhat orderly, and designed to create the least possible offence, even though it is an offence in all probability.

It’s like this:

We bought a Xmas tree, did the Xmas decoration thing, Xmas passed as did the use by date of the tree ( a proper one – you know they start green, drop needles everywhere, turn brown and invite cockroaches to stay over).

Chrissy went to the Belgian rules and regulations filing cabinet (thats the really big one), pulled out the disposing of Xmas trees rule book, referenced the section stipulating that if this was your first Xmas in Belgium, that the tree was bought from a certified Belgian Xmas tree seller and had been previously decorated in the correct manner, within the allotted time period then this was how you could dispose of it –

So we did as it said and placed it outside our house, and voila – it was still there the next day.

So we brought it inside, reread the rules, found we didn’t have it rotated the right way around and put it out on the next allotted night.

Still there.

And so it went – at one month later, we knew we had missed something, but had no idea what. We even had someone stand the tree up for us in our front garden at one stage – of course we didn’t ask for that, but that is a sort of Belgian thing too.

And then, well three months later I spied a stash in the local park where they neatly place fallen branches to rot down…so I hatched a plan.

Tonight under the cover of darkness, I took the said tree,walked 200 metres into the park, located the stash and added our relatively ungainly, very dry and ugly, once beautiful, xmas tree.

Yes I checked for onlookers, and I am confident if one had seen me they would have wanted to know what I was doing.

I must check the local papers to see if it becomes a scandal.

I shall for-ever remember my Xmas tree litter in Belgium.

living here has even changed how I litter (not that I was ever very good at it).


Can somebody please explain why when I walked into the park mindful of anyone looking on, I felt brave and emboldened with my lousy, dry, ugly 1.8m tree. After dumping it (tidily) whilst returning I felt exposed and a bit edgy about whatever loomed in the dark – I mean what was I thinking – that the Xmas tree was a useful weapon, or that any onlooker would be so convinced I was a loony they wouldn’t come near me?


3 thoughts on “Even littering is done in an orderly fashion

  1. Richard
    One should not laugh,but can you imagine what Hercule Poirrot would have made of this abandoned tree, even hear the appropriate background music, things one has to do in a country where one is only a visitor. Reminds me of trying to dump one of my Ma’s chairs in Auld Reekie, I had phoned the appropriate department who were going to come with in a few days. There it sat for days till one morning woke to find when looking out window, someone had come along stopped their car and taken it away, and I speak the lingo to.
    Love Nancy

    • Hi Nancy, yes we’re hopeful somebody might take a few of our ‘chair equivalents’ when we move at end of next week, I dread to think of the requirements at the local refuse station. Cheers Richard

  2. Oh the shame! Is that what you call sustainability – mulching the park.

    Good to see i hit the right jackpot studying sociology as one of my four majors at varsity even if I feel slightly out of your demographic re age!.

    Pleased to see you are up and running again with your blog!

    Love you. Jen xxx

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